Last night's show in Moscow was very special. First and foremost, this was a great show for both myself and the guys. Secondly, this is my home turf - I grew up here. To perform in front of a few thousand people and win them over is something every artist dreams about, I suppose.
This was a proper way to finish off this year, so to speak. Now it's back to recording and focusing on music and planning for next year. My birthday is coming up, too.
The show in St. Petersburg was wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because, well, any opportunity to perform my songs in front of many, many people is wonderful. Terrifying because I was having tech issues 2 minutes prior to my set, and then others IN my set. Fortunately they stopped. But having your microphone misfire in front of 8,000+ people is not something I care to do a lot unless I want to have an early stroke.
Anyway.
I am in Moscow now and it snowed a bit yesterday. Nothing to write home about, though. I was also fighting off an ear infection for a few days, and only now it seems like it's mostly gone away. I kept myself in denial about it because the last time I had one was when I was 11 or something - but after a couple of days of my ear being distinctly unhappy, I had to admit to myself there may be a problem.
All in all I pulled it off, but I am hoping to crush it day after tomorrow.
Also, I wasn't able to do my live broadcast with Bambuser because this train we took back to Moscow did NOT have wi fi. It was quaint and quite old and restored etc - but no whiff of wi fi anywhere. Oh well. I am thinking I should do it this Thursday before or after the next concert.
Yes, Thursday there's another big show, and it's a big deal for me - home turf and all - also quite a good way to finish up this year of Hero EP, touring Russia for the first time, releasing my own self produced project for the first time, all those things. To me, the year started last November when I was here and met with Bi-2 to collaborate, and then went to their huge show (at same venue we're performing at this week) and we decided to tour together.
A lot learned, a lot gained, for sure. That said, I am sitting here and as I am trying to be kind to myself in a 'good girl, you did a lot!' sort of way, I find myself failing and all I can think of is what I COULD and SHOULD have done, instead, how much MORE I could have accomplished. Oh well. I am also thinking about everything I should and must be doing NOW and this December. No warm and fuzzy holiday/birthday feelings for me this week, only thoughts of what I want to get done, recording and organization-wise.
Maybe it's something in the stars. Oftentimes, the feeling of my coming up short of my own potential immobilizes me. But now, I just become aware of what I need to do, and - although sometimes rather impatiently - I go and get it done.
Yes, it was a crazy, but rather good year. What did I learn?
Practice makes perfect.
Preparation, preparation, preparation.
Faith, discipline and courtesy.
Those are everything.
Oh and also laugh more. Appreciate others, let them know and give more of yourself. Nothing - and no one - is a given.
What's ahead? Music, music and more music. This coming year I want to travel, perform and live life to the fullest, without fear, without being stuck in my head. I feel like I am hatching, and maybe 3/4 out of my shell now. What's next? Maybe I'll just do my best and then see.
And for now, here's this: acoustic and a bit operatic;)
As to other things: almost finished with the Japanese EP, the Chinese recording - and the Hero full album has been pushed to spring, but as you can see, we are putting up more music and recordings in the meantime.
Dreamer has a Christmas version, too! Stay tuned...
1. Hero was written, produced, arranged and performed by me, aka Elizaveta Igorevna Khripounova. It was my first time producing something all by myself. Hooray!
2. The choir at the end of the song is crowd sourced from all over the world.
3. Yes, there's also kids yelling & singing (thanks, elementary school in L.A.)
4. There will be a full Hero album and official video.
5. Mixed by Rob Chiarelli, masted by Bob Ludwig.
Additional vocals by Ben Cassorla & Timur Bekbosunov
6. The Pegboard Nerds remix version of Hero was used in the Superman with GoPro viral video.
7. Buy the Hero EP on iTunes, GooglePlay or Amazon, because...
... I am an independent artist, so I need all your love and support;)
So what a couple of weeks! Video shoots, raging strep throat and more. All meriting another entry in a moment... Why didn't I blog while in bed? Good question. Maybe because I was so miserable all I could do was watch BBC crime series. And so this means I owe my blog lots of attention...again.
For now, happy to say this song below will make it on the 2 EPs out in the coming few months. It feels right.
I think blogging more regularly is finally starting to become a habit. I often come across blogs of artists and personalities I am interested in - only to find out that their blog entries are often one a month or even less. I wonder why that is? Why start a blog if you are disinclined to write?
I can posit a reason or two: sometimes, life just takes over. It is so fast, furious, or even simply nice, that writing about it seems to be a moot point. Why write when life is so full you don't feel the need to fictionalize it in any way? Or when everything is a nice routine? Writing when you are content seems to be less of an urgent activity than when you are striving, unhappy, nostalgic and desire to express yourself. If an artist's life is normal, happy and full of normal, happy regular things - what is there to write about? Maybe there is, but there is less of an urge to try and do so.
Sometimes, however, it's the opposite. An artist won't write because he/she feels too fragile to write, because everything has gone wrong. Some of us are less inclined to share our faults and failures with the world at large. "No news is good news" sort of thing. What this means is: we hide when we are weak and feel lost. Reaching out to the world and letting it know we are in trouble seems like a cop-out and a signal that we are, indeed, failing and unworthy. An artist who has been public for a while is also surrounded by people - management, label and others. If there is a sense of frustration and it has been vented online, it will surely find its way to be seen by those who are connected to the artist's career, which is probably not a good thing.
And finally, it may be a question of discipline. Starting something is easy - like buying a plant. Sticking with it, feeding it, making sure it gets water regularly, trimming it, puting it in a bigger pot - well, that's a whole other thing. Good thing: blogs are like succulents - they don't die. Blog or not blog, your page is still there.
I used to be terrible with plants, in fact - before my whole 'flower alchemist' phase. I am quite a bit better now. When I look at my plants now I can almost tell when they are happy or not: it is almost as if it is talking to me. That doesn't give me any ideas as to WHY that is, of course, but most of the time it is pretty easy: it wants attention. With attention comes water and care. A little bit of regular attention to anything, and it will grow and flower, including a blog: regular being the key word here.
This morning I found a great quote from Tchaikovsky:
“There is no doubt that even the greatest musical geniuses have sometimes worked without inspiration. This guest (inspiration) does not always respond to the first invitation. We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavouring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination.” ― Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
It is so true, in my opinion. In Russian we say: "Аппетит приходит во время еды". This means: Appetite arrives while you are having the meal.
I do use Twitter, of course, but there is something so annoying about having to use 140 characters. I prefer it for news and communication, as well as keeping up with people I admire, who are online - like Esa-Pekka Salonen, who is my favorite conductor, and many others.
And so I am happy to say that I am getting back into blogging regularly - not to blog but to write, because I am developing a taste for it again. Writing should be done for writing's sake, otherwise it is contrived, stunted and reads more like a press release, than an account of human experience. Same goes for poetry: I have been so focused on music recently, I only now realized how much I have neglected my poetry. Not that both don't go hand in hand, because I do write lyrics, and that can be constituted as a form of poetry. However, what makes writing poetry different is that there is no music involved, and words and the spaces in-between are both the brush, palette and the canvas.
.....Do we detect a pattern here? What could this mean??
On another note, tonight I am performing Hero for the first time live. Butterflies.
I am also playing with the musicians who were with me at the iTunes Live Capitol Sessions last summer. They are so amazing. Here they are - well, minus string quartet this time, but the drummer and the bassist are the same - Jimmy Paxson and Michael Valerio. I love them.
The crowd sourcing idea I had for Hero really appealed to many people, apparently! I have over 100 emails from fans who want to be in the Virtual Choir. That is very, very cool. This is going to be an amazing choir, and can you imagine all those different energies pouring into it? I am excited. If you signed up, wait another few days to get all the information about and hows and the whens.
Also, in about 10 days I will get a chance to record a children's choir for the same thing. And we will film it, too. Wow! More on that later.
If you are reading this today - April 10, Wednesday, and you are not in L.A., we'll stream some of the show - badly, but one has to start somewhere:) and this link HERE, via USteam, starting 8 PM PST.
Here is the complete demo of the French cover I have done recently, Ma Préférence by Julien Clerc. I wouldn't say that his style of music is very close to mine, but this is a brilliant song and I intend to make it part of my performing repertoire - I love the harmonic changes and the message. I am also translating it into English and Russian.
I added an intro from a classic French film (can you guess which one?) Hint: Gerard Depardieu is in it. Although, fair to say he is in almost EVERY French film of the recent 40 years. That man gets around.
Here is the translation, as promised. This is a very literal one because I didn't try to write something here that would be more poetic.. yet.. as in real lyrics, so it doesn't flow well at all, but it is good enough to get an idea. The actual translated lyrics, as I hear them in my head, would carry the message across, but would not be the same words...
I love this song and its basic concept that sometimes, contrary to popular thought, others do not necessarily see better or are able to judge more accurately when it comes to our own lives and who we want in them. Sometimes it's best to withhold judgment, because there may be something there we do not see or would not value for ourselves, and yet it is everything to another person.
The original of the song is about her. When I did the cover, I switched it to him, and I think it makes it almost even more poignant.
I know that you don't approve of him
and his way of showing that he belongs to me
you fall silent around us
and yet, I choose him
Yes, I know - this air of indifference that's his defence
It often offends you
But when we are surrounded by my friends made of porcelain
I know where his failure lies.
Yes I know - you don't believe that I can be faithful to him
and you are already speaking of him in past tense
But he really is what I want.
You should believe me when I say
that I am the only one who can tell when he is cold
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