artwork
03/02/2016
10/20/2015
Japan
Tonight I cried a lot.
And tomorrow I'll be flying to Japan.
10/05/2015
New Life, here I come
Sometimes new beginnings hide themselves in endings and vice versa.
I am going through something big, and I can feel it in my heart, my stomach, my toes, as well as my fingertips.
It's true that wherever you go, there you are. But sometimes you can leap and leave yourself behind for a split second.
I am not even sure what I mean here.
But I will be performing a concert in a couple of weeks. And I will sing the new me. After that I'll be going to Japan.
05/15/2015
Trap (lyrics)
Trap
If you could only see
I couldn’t love you more
If you belong to me
I’ll hold you
I’ll keep you
But I get so hypnotized
I’m lost
I’m paralyzed
I want to hear your lies
You choke me
You bleed me
I want to die
When I feel you inside my mind
Hearts weren’t meant to last
Breathing the broken glass
Tell me it’s going to pass
You’ll need me
You’ll heal me
I want to die
When I feel you inside my mind
If I loved you more than life
Wouldn’t matter if you died
I’ll follow you
I’ll carry you
I’ll try to make it beautiful again
Without the lies, without the pain
Cause in my heart, I know we’ll reunite
I want to die
When I feel you inside my mind
I want to cry
Cause I know I’ve run out of time
These moments in time I knew you were mine
Take me, forgive me
Love me, believe me
It drives me insane
I know - it's only a game
Take me, forgive me
Love me, believe me
This is a trap and I know it will kill me.
03/11/2015
My album is done!!!!!
And here's a late night poem. I'll write more later with all the details.
A time to write, my cup is full,
I hug the night, I call its bluff -
you cannot hide, my other half,
I hear you call; I've set my sail.
From dusk till dawn where lovers live
where stardust gathers at the crack
between what's lost and what we give
I'll find you there - I'll bring you back
A time to write, the moon is high
it sings and whispers me to sleep
I'm dreaming as I slip away
while streetlights sway and shadows creep
I'm full of hope, I'm blessed by words
tomorrow is a gift to claim
Just wait for me, my other half:
I hear you call; I've set my sail.
03/19/2014
01/19/2014
a day of rest
I had an incredible couple of days and only now getting a little bit of rest. Next week I still have some vocals to finish for my Russian record and then I am off to London.
Joe's Pub performance was a grand time for me and it seemed to really connect with the audience, as well. It was sold out and people were so nice. I think I have become a better performer since the last time I sang here. New Yorkers are a tough crowd, they are very sophisticated and demanding.
I loved being part of the Prototype Festival. Unfortunately my buddy Timur the Tenor couldn't join me on the Odi et Amo duet at Joe's. I would have liked that because our performance at the LuEsther Lounge together was quite something. I think being paired up with another singer of an operatic background on a pop-ish duet makes me get louder and more dramatic/operatic than usual, and that it turn fires him up... and off we go into the stratosphere of vocal omnipotence;)
There are so many things I want to add to my live set, though. Electric guitar is going to become a permanent part of it, as I work on this in February, once I am back. Choreography...
But it's important to realize that I have come a long way as a performer in these last two years since the very advent of the first Beatrix Runs songs.
On to London in a few days. Can't wait.
01/16/2014
New York!
I love New York. Well, I was born here. When I come back, I am always both a little scared and excited. It's almost as if I am feeling the city challenge me and say: 'So? Have you accomplished your destiny? Where are you at? Why are you slacking? This is not why you were born here, little girl! Step up!'
Unlike Los Angeles, where I am just face to face with myself and act like a hermit, NYC has an energy all its own. It's alive, it breathes, shudders, buzzes. It provides stimulation everywhere and on every level.
My show tomorrow night is sold out:
I will have a wonderful bass player performing with me, Anthony Maceli.
If you are reading this, and missed out, I am performing a short set late tonight at The Festival Lounge at Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St NYC 1003. It's like an after hours hangout space for festival goers.
I go on at 11 PM, and it's free.
Yesterday New York was chilly and sunny.
One of the things I simply can't understand is how New Yorkers don't all weigh 300 pounds, simply because there are so many incredible places to eat everywhere, ten per every city block.
A fan drew a picture of me and posted on Facebook. It's beautiful, but what's even more striking to me is the owl. You see, I have been writing a story (animation screenplay sort of thing) and there is an owl in it. I have neglected the story in the recent months because the music took over. But this is like a definite sign to keep at it and finish it. All right, I'll do my best!
(drawing by Melissa Posch)
The show at Witzend in LA was also sold out and a few fans showed up to sing Hero with me. Some of them were 10, others in their 20's, 30's, 40's & 50's - I'd say we had quite a diverse group. It was a great start to a tradition, I think. It felt great.
I love to sing.
Right now I am pretty tired, though. But it's a good tired. Tonight, I'll be joined on Odi et Amo by a pretty amazing tenor (and friend) Timur Bekbosunov. He is quite something - I guess I'll just use his own description on his personal site because I couldn't come up with anything better: "The tumultuous sensation of omnipotent splendor, fueled by passion for contemporary art, culture and politics".
Only a tenor would come up with something like that;)
05/14/2013
So You Think You Can Dance, Strep, Dragons, Dreamer Kids and Journeys
How is that for a blog entry title?
Anyway, just a few minutes ago I got an email that my song 'Meant' will be featured on tonight's season premiere episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Wow! I will have to watch! Very excited. Over the past year I have received so many emails from people who used 'Dreamer' as their dance song - for recitals, flag routines - you name it. I do like that show a lot. Every time I have watched it I have walked away with a firm decision to take up dancing again. Er....OK, soon.
Unfortunately no celebratory glass of wine for me tonight. I have been sick with strep throat. Let me tell you: don't get it. I don't know how I picked it up, but chances are it was at the elementary school where we did our first Dreamer to Hero Art & Music Workshop a week and a half ago.
The workshop was done as a collaboration with my designer and art partner in crime Missy Washington of i102fly - she did the art portion of the event, while I did - guess? - the musical part of it, obviously. The kids were 8-9 years old and there were about 20 of them.
Halfway through the workshop I recorded the kids singing a part for my new song HERO. Yes, the one with the choir at the end. After that, Missy led them in an arts and crafts endevour.
Let me tell you: who needs high end gadgets or materials? She brought supplies from a Re-Use outlet and we made Superhero Machines from cardboard, discarded plastic, CDs, old packaging and other bits and pieces. The idea was to show them that sometimes even though you don't have the ultimate raw material/situation/resources to work with, you can still come out on top, be creative and come up with something amazing - and that applies to everything in life, in my opinion. The kids made some really incredible things and it was really inspiring to watch them.
We had a brilliant time and I can't wait to do it again. It was also filmed (by my friend Julien Lasseur), so in the next week or so we will post the video summary of the event.
Here is myself, two young Dreamers and Missy of i102fly.
A good time was had by all.
Speaking of the Choir for HERO: a huge thank you to all who submitted their recordings and videos. We had plenty recordings and the choir is sounding great! We may still ask fans for more videos, but we may be ok, too, we'll have to cut to song and see what happens. The best part about it is that for the first time I have engaged my fans in something active and something collaborative. It generated so much positive energy - I am definitely doing to do this again.
Later that week we also shot a little video for the acoustic version of a new song called Dragonslayer. The song is in the electronica genre and one of the ones I have been producing myself recently. I am pretty proud of it. The acoustic version works really well, too. Here is a still from the shoot:
So now there are all sorts of videos in the pipeline.
However it was that weekend that I got very sick. I tried my best to stay off the antibiotics, but it turned out that I had strep throat, and it was rather virulent. It was so bad that I felt a slight sore throat Sunday morning and by Sunday night I had no voice whatsoever.
I did all my natural remedies, as usual and they helped a lot - but after a week in bed I was still in pretty bad shape. As much as I try to avoid medication (due to a very negative experience in the past I may speak about here later sometime) I had to give in and take one because now it's less than two weeks before I leave for Europe - my London show is on the 30th - and then Paris - and then TED Global. There's lots to do and I can't just keep riding this infection out.
Fortunately the antibiotic seems to be doing its job and I am better, except for a nasty cough that comes and goes, so no singing for another few days.
And now back to work.
Here is also a photo from my photoshoot with Belathee Photography a couple of weeks ago. Those girls are so good! And so fun to be around! Can't wait to work with them again.
new song lyrics
So what a couple of weeks! Video shoots, raging strep throat and more. All meriting another entry in a moment... Why didn't I blog while in bed? Good question. Maybe because I was so miserable all I could do was watch BBC crime series. And so this means I owe my blog lots of attention...again.
For now, happy to say this song below will make it on the 2 EPs out in the coming few months. It feels right.
Love Song #3.
You are so bad for me
But I love you tenderly
I couldn’t bear the thought
That you may go
But you are a faceless wall
Sometimes you’re a carnival
And if you swallow me whole
I need to know
Is it addiction that feeds me
Is it affection that binds me
It takes so little to cure me
Why did you have to remind me
That you are so good to me
When I hate you bitterly
You rise above, fill me with love
Until I choke
You are the Christmas day
You laugh my rage away
You’re always right
So why do I fight
And try to provoke
Is it addiction that feeds me
Is it affection that binds me
It took so long to convince me
That you were destined to find me
(instrumental/vocal bridge)
You see the best in me
You love my honesty
You never stop
And you pick me up
When I am low
But this is a travesty
Cause you don’t mean a damn to me
I want to care
But it’s just not there
And you gotta know
It’s the addiction that feeds me
You are the habit that binds me
You’ve given all just to please me
Now you should learn to despise me
Now you should learn to despise me...
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