The show in St. Petersburg was wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because, well, any opportunity to perform my songs in front of many, many people is wonderful. Terrifying because I was having tech issues 2 minutes prior to my set, and then others IN my set. Fortunately they stopped. But having your microphone misfire in front of 8,000+ people is not something I care to do a lot unless I want to have an early stroke.
I am in Moscow now and it snowed a bit yesterday. Nothing to write home about, though. I was also fighting off an ear infection for a few days, and only now it seems like it's mostly gone away. I kept myself in denial about it because the last time I had one was when I was 11 or something - but after a couple of days of my ear being distinctly unhappy, I had to admit to myself there may be a problem.
All in all I pulled it off, but I am hoping to crush it day after tomorrow.
Also, I wasn't able to do my live broadcast with Bambuser because this train we took back to Moscow did NOT have wi fi. It was quaint and quite old and restored etc - but no whiff of wi fi anywhere. Oh well. I am thinking I should do it this Thursday before or after the next concert.
Yes, Thursday there's another big show, and it's a big deal for me - home turf and all - also quite a good way to finish up this year of Hero EP, touring Russia for the first time, releasing my own self produced project for the first time, all those things. To me, the year started last November when I was here and met with Bi-2 to collaborate, and then went to their huge show (at same venue we're performing at this week) and we decided to tour together.
A lot learned, a lot gained, for sure. That said, I am sitting here and as I am trying to be kind to myself in a 'good girl, you did a lot!' sort of way, I find myself failing and all I can think of is what I COULD and SHOULD have done, instead, how much MORE I could have accomplished. Oh well. I am also thinking about everything I should and must be doing NOW and this December. No warm and fuzzy holiday/birthday feelings for me this week, only thoughts of what I want to get done, recording and organization-wise.
Maybe it's something in the stars. Oftentimes, the feeling of my coming up short of my own potential immobilizes me. But now, I just become aware of what I need to do, and - although sometimes rather impatiently - I go and get it done.
Yes, it was a crazy, but rather good year. What did I learn?
Practice makes perfect.
Preparation, preparation, preparation.
Faith, discipline and courtesy.
Those are everything.
Oh and also laugh more. Appreciate others, let them know and give more of yourself. Nothing - and no one - is a given.
What's ahead? Music, music and more music. This coming year I want to travel, perform and live life to the fullest, without fear, without being stuck in my head. I feel like I am hatching, and maybe 3/4 out of my shell now. What's next? Maybe I'll just do my best and then see.
And for now, here's this: acoustic and a bit operatic;)
If you're reading this and would like a copy of this live sound recording, sign up at http://elizaveta.fanbridge.com
As to other things: almost finished with the Japanese EP, the Chinese recording - and the Hero full album has been pushed to spring, but as you can see, we are putting up more music and recordings in the meantime.
Dreamer has a Christmas version, too! Stay tuned...